Saturday, August 25, 2012

I miss you

I don't know how to explain it.  I talked to you yesterday, it was nice, but weird.  I wish you were still a fixture in my life.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Better n better, everyday

I forget what you look like, smell like, sound like.  I can't forget how you made me feel.  Even the anger.  I hope it stops soon.  It is better though.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I just couldn't

So I like to meet new people, but I also like to be comfortable doing so.  Is it wrong to not want to see a movie because you don't want to see it, but your new friend does?  It's a poor atmosphere for conversation, and it's time lost if you don't like the movie and the new friend bolts.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Sometimes I wonder

If my life is just one long cut scene.  When does the real part start?  When do I get to play the real part of the game?  When do I get to fight the bad guy and overcome Bowser?  I wanna be the leader of my life.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Friday, August 10, 2012


I'm thinking about getting my hair cut even shorter than it is now.  Not man short, but behind the ears short with bangs.


It's my fault.  It could have been salvageable, but I ruined it.  I think.  A lot of things should have been done differently, but I broke the camel's back.

One day maybe it'll all be better.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Growing up

Really sucks.  It's been said a billion times a billion different ways.  I don't think any amount of growed up-ness would have prepared me for Lily. I feel bad that she has to go through all this.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Last Ditch Effort

I have a cold plus cough and chest congestion.  It's been a week.  I have decided if the night time medicine doesn't work I will go to the doctor.  I feel like death.  I bequeath have of each ball of yarn to him.  Cut down the middle of the ball, none of that un rolling and giving even amounts.  And he has to make an afghan out of all of it plus all of the butterfly buttons.  I will haunt!!

On a side note I reached a point tonight where I was shopping at a different walgreens, didn't have the energy to stand up, so I faced the bottom two rows of cold/cough meds.  Then, whilst looking for drink, I noticed their bacon was expired and told the cashier immediately.  This is what I've become.

August 8th

The last August 8th my sister will be childless...  big evil grins bwahaha.  I'm not saying being a mother is bad or horrible, just that it has it's challenges.  This morning I woke up with feet in my face.  My youngest child co-sleeps and while I love it, I enjoy a night alone occasionally :) 

Today I am going to try my best to get back on the wagon.  That means shaving my legs, plucking unwanted favial hair, fixing my hair, and painting my nails.  Time to be human again!!  I might not get to all of those things today, kids come first, but even saying I'm taking on such tasks is a leap forward!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012


Nothing worse than writing a post then it disappears.  I'm holding myself accountable for my own happiness.